I can’t answer that question. In fact, that question has just been proffered up by my ego to my brain.
I used to have more fire in my personality. I’ve shed that feistiness for a more peaceful and compassionate approach to the world.
Granted, I still can be outspoken and profanity laden in my speech, but otherwise I often don’t speak what is on my mind. I’ve evolved into a more gentler way of approaching others.
But, I miss my old assuredness and fiery personality trait. I think I need to find a balance between the fire and water in me. I need a fiery fluidity.
The balance alludes me. It’s only after a respite from my daily chores and grind, with a few glasses of wines to lubricate my thoughts, that I find myself asking the question; How do I become a feisty Zen mistress?
How do I incorporate a gentler approach, but still have that passion that propels me to say fuck it and live life fiercely. Ferocity coupled with Gentleness. Is it even possible? Are they mutely exclusive?
I contemplate this sitting on my porch in the ebbing rays of the day. No answer. No solution. Just a dangling questions to play along my fingers over this summer.