Self-Petulance

Sometimes there is a voice inside of me. A dark mood that sabotages the best intentions for myself.

It’s like a petulant teen has been let loose from the dark side of my moon and he’s running rampant and knocking over my ambitions and goals.

I’m not sure how he gets loose, but he does periodically. I’ve been itching to write recently, but as I have stated in many blogs prior, I am a busy lady.

Today I was going to sit down and write a blog about my feelings surrounding the nativity scene in the middle of winter. I was going to write about that.

Until the angsty teen got loose and stumbled me along my path to write that blog. That self-petulance has me feeling unambitious, angry, moody, etc. It’s that voice that says, “What’s the point?” “Don’t waste your time?” “It doesn’t matter anyway.”

It’s that ugly part of me that not only wants to run away but derides the pathetic attempts at running away.

I wonder if other writers and artists have had that same experience of battling an insouciant inner teen, that just wants to say “Fuck you” or “Fuck that.”

Either way, I’m still writing a blog. Maybe I can exorcise that little beast out of me by writing this. I don’t have time for self-petulance. Like any restless teen, it needs to sit down, shut up, and do something productive.

Maybe I’ll write that nativity blog tomorrow, because my time is up, and the little beasty is still running a amok in my gray matter.

 

 

 

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