I look fore and aft
searching for a tenuous string
to connect these painful consequences
of intimate historic actions
Their sums are my whole
A whole cracked and fissured by external pressures
Am I beautiful and significant?
I ask the universal mirror of self-condemnation.
Darkness answers in its cold glee with silence.
Searching ever more
For the end pieces of this grand puzzle of my existence
with only the conical beam of a flashlight
From my ruminations,
A small solace,
Swing, glide, jump across a playground.
Envying their obliviousness
I search fore and aft from my insouciant past
To this present meditative suffering