Recently one of my favorite bloggers, psychologistmimi, wrote a blog titled “Trusting the Process while Standing still at the Crossroads.” (http://psychologistmimi.com/2014/11/16/trusting-the-process-while-standing-still-at-the-crossroads/ ) It has stayed with me for a few days now and I have been spinning it around in my mind. In her blog she writes about her ambivalence toward that phrase “trust the process”. Her trepidation with it has to do with the over use in her work place. The question of who was in charge of the process also fuels her apprehension. She concludes that trusting the process is more about trusting her gut. It is perhaps her gut that is more about the process than the process itself.
I have a very different emotional reaction to the phrase “trust the process”. When I initially heard it, it was a revelation. That revelation is about my inner journey, not any exterior manifestation.
In my professional life it’s all about objectives, goals, test results and outcomes. The process is only important in that it moves teachers and students in increments toward the goal. It is about showing adequate progress. There is no trusting the process. It is “trust the results”.
In my day to day life there is no process. It is survival in the perfunctory duties that move me from moment to moment until I am completely depleted lying in bed going mind numb scrolling on my phone. There is no process in my day to day tasks.
In my personal journey it has been all about trusting the process. I’ve taken leaps in my emotional, psychological, and spiritual progress in the past few years. It was during this time that the phrase “trust the process” came to me as a revelation. In the midst of my spiritual rejuvenation, I often didn’t see the progress in the emotional distress of my healing. I have been in an emotional battle in which I was fighting to heal years of misguided intentions and interactions.
For me, trusting the process has been a signpost of hope, because I can’t see the outcome. I’m still in the process and at times there is only enough light to illuminate my next step. In those moments of debilitating self-doubt, when I collapse and can’t move forward, I look backward. It’s in those glances backward that I’m amazed at the progress I’ve made. I can see how each harrowing, unseen step has led me to greater healing. I am being freed and renewed each day, but it has been a slow, often painful process. The outcome is an indistinct blurry outline. Trusting the process is to trust the path that has given me so much. My gut, although an extremely useful tool, can’t always steer me through the emotional process of spiritual healing and renewal.
I have always felt a strong affinity to the legend of the phoenix. It burns until it is ash and then rises from those ashes to be reborn and fly again. It is a perpetual existence of life, fire, death, renewal and life again. But, the burning must be excruciating. It is the process of that shedding of feathers, and bones that leads to renewal. So, I trust the process because I know that through my life the process of renewal, although pain filled, can be trusted even though the outcome isn’t always visible or accurately predicted. It is the process that has compelled the growth that has brought me here to these key strokes.
Here is the definition of process: a series of actions, changes, or functions bringing about a result. Ultimately we can’t trust a process unless we start moving toward a result. That is the best way to trust any process; get moving toward a goal. I’ve been moving, and trusting even though the result is a moving target. Then, trust the process, or your gut. Whichever serves YOU best.